A Short Chat with Maradona (I am not a drug addict)
Maradona has been voted the FIFA Player of the Century together with Pele. After his colourful career, he remains in the limelight with all the wrong reasons. Taking drugs and gaining excessive weight. What has he got to say on all these?
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Crazyguru : Hello, Sir.
Maradona : Yes.....(deep voice)
CG : Is there any reason to believe that you are still on drugs?
Mar : No. I am already drug free. Actually, I was never on drug. It is all bull shit from the media or actually from me.
CG : Huh....why is that so?
Mar : You see, I am the God in Argentina, so the media needs to talk about me, anything about me else they will not go away. They like to probe. If I don't give them an interesting story, how can they be satisfied?
CG: Um....agree.
Mar : So, I thought about it for a long time. I even consulted my Chinese friend in CIA, Central of Intelligience of Argentina not America, ok. We agreeed that to hide my real secret, I have to release something false and big to the media so that they will be too interested in my false open secret and will never want to or be interested to look for other things. This is what the Chinese called,"Lure the tiger out of the mountain trick".
So, I asked my PRs to release a "secret" - that I was on drugs.
CG : Wah....serious ah. So, that mean your real secret is even bigger than this.
Mar : Unfortunately.......yes(faint sobbing sound).
CG : Wah....are you a drug load or firearm dealer or some ring leader?
Mar : No lah.......you know after my retirement, I have not been exercising a lot, so my weight started to grow. Then one early morning after another sumptuous dinner the night before, while peeing, I realised that.....I NO LONGER CAN SEE MY LITTLE BROTHER!!!! (loud sobbing sound)
CG : I am sorry to here that.
Mar : CG, you will not understand how I feel. You cannot imagine having to look at your little brother only through the mirror. It just don't feel connected anymore. I really hate the feeling. I have been seeing it directly for the past 30 plus years, playing with it, enjoying beautiful moments together but now......it is no longer like before. Heaven is unfair, why all good things have to come to a part?
CG : Ai......so sad.
Mar : Can you imagine when the media get to know this? It will be in all the front page with headings like,"The genius with a small dick","Honey, I shrink my dick","Maradona says mirror, mirror on the wall, how is my dick today vs the day before".
CG : Yes.....I think so.
Mar : Things are better now after I lose weight, so I can tell the press I am drug free now.
CG : Good for you. Hope to see you soon in the field.
Mar : Thank you. Bye.
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"A short chat" is a fictional conversation that came to CrazyGuru's mind while daydreaming.
posted by PengSoon @ 8:29 AM
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