The Crazy World Of Football

A Short Chat with Gerard Houllier (I am a good manager)

Lyon's advancement to the Quarter Final surprise quite a number of people, especially when they are not considered a big team. Their manager, Gerard Houllier who was with Liverpool previously has also been praised. So, what works in France, which did not in Liverpool?
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CrazyGuru : Hello Mr. Houllier.

G.Houllier : Hello. Nice to talk to you.

CG : Me too. It was a good win against PSV.

GH : I am proud of my players. They did well.

CG : A lot of people are surpirse by what you have achieved with Lyon after what happened in Liverpool.

GH : I know. They can't blame me. Blame it on the players.

CG : Why do you say that?

GH : I told them to play short passing game instead of long balls. At first, they say ok. Then, during the training, I told them that one of them will have to play in the middle of a circle and try to steal the ball from the rest. Will call that person,"Monkey".

CG : That's quite normal.

GH : Ya, precisely. Then they started to play around with the game. Then some of them start to laugh and call out loud,"Monkey". Then follow by loud laughter and more extension to the name like, "Long limb, short dick","Red head monkey, come and get you banana". Really bad. I thought this is the worse they will go but you know what?

CG : What.....?
GH : One day, out from no where, Gerrard took out a monkey mask and a red underwear that has a red tail attached to it. He said that whoever is the monkey will have to put them on. At first, it was fun but as more things are added, the players start to get really scare of losing the ball and "become" the monkey. Because, really, really embarassing lah.

CG : More things?

GH : Ya. Things like whips, red bra with hair, bulge fake teeth, jersey with hair.

CG : Wah!!!

GH : That is not all. At the end of the session, the player who lose the most time will be whip by everybody. And the victim will have to moan everytime he is whipped, like he is enjoying it. Worst, he will have to wear all the "accessories" for the whole day. Really got out of hand.

CG : Did you try to stop them?

GH : I tried but I got a clip of with me playing the monkey. Stupid lah, I thought it was fun to play along initially. They got the clip, so I can't do anything with them else the whole world will see the clip.

CG : Wah.....

GH : Then, the short passing game become long ball passing game. Because, nobody want to lose right? Instead of a 5m x 5m area, they played the whole pitch so that there will be no way for the "monkey" to intercept the ball. So, this is the reason why they will only play long balls during the games.

CG : I see, now I understand your frustration

GH : Right. (sign) I am a good manager you know.

CG : I agree....

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"A short chat" is a fictional conversation that came to CrazyGuru's mind while daydreaming.

posted by PengSoon @ 7:00 AM