The Crazy World Of Football

Monday, October 12, 2009

Nobel Prize for Alex Gerguson

In a surprise move, the Nobel committee has awarded Sir Alex Ferguson with the Nobel Peace Award last night. This means that the 2009 award is now shared between US President Obama and Sir Alex.

Asked by the media to comment on the last minute and surprise move to add Sir Alex to this year’s award, the Nobel spokesman said that the 5 member committees are deeply touched by what they see as a benevolent move by Sir Alex to apologise to Alan Wiley after calling him unfit following his team’s draw against Sunderland. The spokesman added that the committee believes that because of Sir Alex’s strong influence in the game, his act has and will influence fans to behave better, thus reduce the violence in football in years to come.

Commenting on his award, Sir Alex said that he was very surprise. “I wanted to say sorry to Alan after learning that he had run 8.65miles during the game, further than 7 of my players.” Fergie added,”He is a workhorse, better than my millionaire-but-cannot-run players, I am now seriously thinking of signing him when the January transfer window opens.”

Labels: Alan Wiley, Alex Ferguson, Nobel Prize, sunderland

Sunday, October 04, 2009

5 things Beckham will miss at LA

1. Front row seats at Staples Center watching 10 guys bouncing rather than kicking the ball.

2. Dinner with the Cruise family. Was he preparing for hollywood?

3. His $22mil Califonia home. Didn't he say it was 'Perfect'?

4. California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Will Beckham promise to be back?

5. Rest of the autograph sessions for the book,"The Beckham Experiment", in which he was questioned by teammate, Donavan on his commitment to LA Galaxy.

in reference to: David Beckham close to finalising return to AC Milan - Transfers - ESPN Soccernet (view on Google Sidewiki)

Man United vs Sunderland Game - After game quotes

Crazyguru tells you what they really want to say after the game

"I am going shopping with my wife on Sunday for a good watch for the referee, Alan Wiley." Alex Ferguson, after claiming that the referee has not played the correct amount of time.

"Its better than sex....really......" Steve Bruce, after the precious draw. His stats vs Fergie was 10 defeats and 2 draws before the game.

"Now, I really know why playing for Man United is better than Wigan." Antonio Valencia was surprise that the officials awarded him a free kick after the faint push by Kieran Richardson which then leads to the latter's sending off.

"I have closed my online betting account long ago." Anton Ferdinand, when told that the "2-2" scoreline payout is was 1-34.

"He jump, I jump......(pause).....nobody expect it to end up behind the net" Ben Foster claiming no fault on Sunderland's 2nd goal.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

A Short Chat with Steve McClaren (It is good to be the England Manager)

After the World Cup, Steve McClaren, new manager recently announced that he will drop Beckham from the squad as he looks to inject young blood to the squad. But he has also told Beckham that the door is still not closed for him. It is still possible that Beckham will be selected for the squad. I look to find out the "real" reason for McClaren to drop Beckham.

CrazyGuru : Good Evening Steve.

Steve McClaren : Hello, good evening.

CG : So, a month into the England job. How has it been?

SM : Good. Better than what I expected. Especially, when you come from a so-so club like Middlesborough. You really can't compare what you get at Middlesborough to what you get as the England Manager.

CG : Looks like you are enjoying it.

SM : Oh ya. Definitely, every single bit of it. When I stepped into my office, the interior is just unbelievable. You get your big oak table, bar counter, leather sofas and plasma TV. And you know what?

CG : What?

SM : There is even a gold plated tap in the shower area. Erikkson requested that.

CG : Oh. That really cost a lot of money.

SM : Who cares. We are not a charity organisation, so nobody will question that.

CG : Sounds familiar.....anyway, so what are your plans?

SM : Ok, first of all, I am thinking of doing a small foam party in my office toilet with two of the office assistance. They have given me the hints. Then the next thing will be the victory celebration after every win. Since all the lads will be joining, then we need a bigger place, and the girls have to be those really hot ones. And I really want the ratio of the girls to outnumber the players by maybe 2:1. Then got fun mah.

CG : Actually, I am asking about the plan for the 2008 Euro Cup and also why Beckham was dropped.

SM : Oh...oh....sorry, I got carried away. You know, Eriksson really told me too much bad things, so my head can't stop thinking of the fun.

CG : Um....

SM : Ok, plan for 2008 Euro Cup is simple; "We will try to win it". As for Beckham, Erikkson told me that he is a bad sheep for the squad.

CG : Why so?

SM : Everytime we have those victory party, Beckham gets the most attention from the girls, instead of a fair share of the girls, some of the guys end up sharing the girls. Beckham alone gets up to ten girls. Not fair right? We tried to remind the girls and Beckham but it doesn't seem to work, so I have to make the painful decision to drop him.

CG : I see. But you say, he may come back to the squad in future?

SM : Ya. When we can get more girls to the party, then I think it is fine for him to be back.

Monday, August 14, 2006

A Short chat with Jose Mourinho (I am not a sore loser)

After the lose of the Community Shield to Liverpool, Jose Mourinho admitted that he did not shake hands with Benitez and was quoted as saying that he don't think it is important to shake hands or kiss. Of course, to most of the neutrals, Mourinho is a sore loser. He also blame the no handshake on Benitez as he felt that Benitez can come over to the pitch to shake hands with him. To clarify the whole incident, I had to have chat with Jose to find out more.

CrazyGuru : Hello Mr. Jose.

Jose Mourinho : Yes, what can I do for you? If you want to congratulate someone, I think you got the wrong number.

CG : Ah....no, I definitely got the right number. I think it wasn't that bad a result since it is more of a curtain raiser for the EPL season.

JM : EXACTLY....I don't know why the media is making a mountain out of a mole and also labelled me a sore loser.

CG : Oh ya. They said that you did not shake hands with Benitez because you just hate to lose to Liverpool.

JM : I don't like to lose, not just Liverpool. It applies to any other team. Nobody likes to lose, if I like to lose, then I won't want to be Chelsea manager, I will have apply for the Sunderland job. You know that Sunderland lost the same number of game we won for the whole of last season? Pathetic.

CG : Oh ya, I didn't notice that. So, back to your relationship with Benitez.....

JM : What relationship? I don't have a relationship with him, I am not gay. So, I don't kiss him in public. I am a football manager, so I manage the team, not just 90mins but 24hrs everyday as long as I am still contracted.

CG : I understand that but then you should at least offer a handshake to Benitez right?

JM : .................(slient)..................(silent)

CG : Hello....Mr. Jose, are you still there?

JM : Now, you tell me.......

CG : OK.....

JM : Who is the Special One? Me or Benitez?

CG : Ur....is you. But....

JM : Why "but"? Do you think I should offer the handshake or should he offer his hand to me? I am the Special One, not him.

CG : Um.....

JM : I stayed around after the game so as to give him the chance to offer me his handshake but he did not. He was cocky, running around and giving hugs to his players. He walked pass me a few times but still no offer of handshake. I kept quiet and even tried to smile a bit. Even when my staff asked me to go into the dressing room, I tried to delay the departure to give him a bit more time, but you know what?

CG : What?

JM : When he held the shield in his hands, he purposely deflect the sunlight on my eyes. It was glaring and really hurt my eyes.

CG : No....I don't think Benitez will do that. It must be accidental.

JM : Accidental my ass. Hey....I don't think I can talk to you, you don't understand me. (line cut)

CG : Hello....hello....

"A short chat" is a fictional conversation that came to CrazyGuru's mind while daydreaming.