The Crazy World Of Football

A Short Chat with Graeme Souness (I can be the England Manager)

It has been a while since I last spoke to a football celebrity. So, I thought since the weekend matches were over, can give one of them a call. Who knows, before I can decide who to call, someone called me. And he is no other than Mr. Graeme Souness. Souness has have no success in club management but he has express interests in the England job. So what makes him think he is suitable for the England job? Let’s see.

G.Souness : Hello Guru.

CrazyGuru : Hello Souness, I am surprise to receive your call.

G.S : I will be too but I really need to talk to someone.

CG : Oh….ok. Hope I can be of help.

G.S : You see. We all know that the England manager post will be vacant after the World Cup, so I was thinking since I am no longer the manager at Newcastle, the England job sounds interesting.

CG : Oh, I didn’t know that you will be interested.

G.S : Oh ya. I really want that job badly. I fit the criteria. I am a Brit and ......and…...ya, you know, I have also brought success to the clubs I managed. Oh, most important of all, my sincerity.

CG : Oh….ok. But….ur…..your record has not been that good, you know.

G.S : My luck was not that good then. Come on, you know right. With all those injuries to my players, it is difficult to win games. But I am really sincere, I will do anything, anything…..ok, you want to know how sincere I am?

CG : Ur..….ok.

G.S : Ok, I will bark like a dog now. {Barking sound} How is it? Can you hear it? Ya? Can you feel it? My sincerity.

CG : Oh….ah…..ya(embarrass)

G.S : You don’t sound convinced. Ok, here is more…...{more barking and howling sound}. Wait….hear this {panting sound} I am wagging my tail, can you hear it? You feel it? Ya?

CG : Oh….I can feel it! Ya, I can.

G.S : Good. But I think it will take more than that to convince the FA. So, I have added more tricks. Ok, hear this. (Souness shouting) “Throw it now”. AH…..Yes I got it.

CG : What was that?

G.S : I did the flying catch of the freebie with my mouth. You think it is a good trick to express my sincerity?

CG : Ya….I think so.

G.S : I hope I can do a two meter leap by the time I meet them. Also, what do you think of a pissing by the tree act? And also a record breaking, 1,000 set of humping motion in a minute. I got a really good spinal cord, you know.

CG : Sounds good.

G.S : (Excited) You think so? I feel more confident now. Ok, I have to go back to my intensive training. Bye.

CG : All the best in your interview. Bye.
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"A short chat" is a fictional conversation that came to CrazyGuru's mind while daydreaming.

posted by PengSoon @ 9:15 AM